Tuesday, June 10, 2008

depression strikes

i was really depressed these few days. i've never felt like i'm so useless in my life. EVER. i can't remember things that i need to know for my finals. it seems so impossible for me to pass my exams. i know, people would say to me "you've done well all these while, don't need to worry". the truth is, i have short term memory span thats why i can do well in small exams.

chris wasn't always there for me these days because he is so busy with his work. there goes another pillar of strength. the pressure of getting into dean's list also haunts me. i'm only 1 exam away from dean's list. if i don't get A or A- for finals i won't be in anymore. i doubt i'll get it though. i feel i'm not ready for this exam.

that is probably why i broke down. i cried really badly. i couldn't stop, it's so difficult to. i used to be strong, i used to be able to handle the stress.

i miss my usual life. i wanna go shopping every week, i wanna see chris and my freinds often, i wanna talk to my friends that are far away from me, i wanna dress up everyday and have a place to go to, i wanna laze around at home hugging bibi and wander around my house blindly..

it feels like months since i've gone shopping.

i miss my life....